My Story of Choices-Testimony of Redemption

Friends,

Choices.

We all have them. We all make them everyday. The choice to get out of bed. The choice to brush your teeth (which I hope you do). The choice to speak, the choice to be silent, the choice to grow up, the choice to act mature/immature. The choices we make affect the next choice and so on. An endless stream of choices. 

I choose today to tell you my story of choices. Choices made by others that affected me and choices I made that affected myself, and most importantly the choice made by Christ 2000 years ago that affected all of mankind. 

I was physically/emotionally abused as a child. I watched a father so full of life become addicted to prescription drugs for over 10 years. (NOTE: He now is seeking full recovery - To God Be All the Glory) I chose bulimia and anorexia for 7 years as a "medicine of control" for my past and current circumstances. I also chose to spend many years holding in bitterness which resulted in fleeting moments of immature decisions to find satisfaction. I will never be a little girl again and I will never be able to get those moments of brief stupidity back. 

I tell you all of this not for pity, but for your heart to be lifted by knowing that who I am now is a result of Christ and only HIS work in me and for you to know that you, my friend, in your deepest struggle are not alone.

Each one of you has a choice today. To continue to let the suffering steal your joy, or to walk in the light of the future. There is good out there. Do not be deceived by what the enemy will try to "steal, kill, and destroy" from your life or mind. (John 10:10)

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit."

Psalm 51: 10-12

I will not sit here and lie to you and tell you that I realized all of this instantly, it has taken me years. Years to realize that the debt others owed me has already been paid by the precious blood of Christ and they will never be able to repay me. Years to realize that although forgiven some things will not be forgotten. And that is okay. Years to realize that the first half of my life may have been paved by suffering and hardship, the second half of my life will be paved by the will of God Almighty and His promises being fulfilled as I walk in step with Him. 

So I come to you today as a friend, sister, and hopeful saint standing by your side. This blog is me reaching out my heart so that you may have the courage to reach up to Heaven and let God Almighty take your pain and turn it into healing, take your anger and turn it into forgiveness, and slowly but surely, take your past and turn it into a story of the redeeming power of Grace. 

To the ones who have suffered with body issues. You are beautiful. You were made in the image of Christ. Though you can't believe it right now, God loves you just as you are. I encourage you to seek help, seek a friend, and more than those, seek God Almighty so that just as I am doing, each day you can find your reflection in the way Christ sees you and not in the way Satan has lied to you to see yourself. 

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

I leave you all with this scripture and pray that as you chose to finish reading this blog, you will choose to go and tell your story. Not for pride's sake, but for Kingdoms sake. 

"And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— ⁴ was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. ⁵ I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.⁶ Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, ⁷ or because of these surpassingly great revelations.Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:3-10

We all have a beautiful story of redemption, grace, and unconditional love. I pray that as you have read mine you see that that God came to save a wretch like me, save a little girl, and give her all the desires of her heart. 

AND HE WANTS THE SAME FOR YOU. 

My story is yet to be complete, but until the good Lord calls me home, I pray I choose to seek Him and let His unconditional love continue to take my breath away.