I will wait for you....

Hello Readers, Internet Community, and Friends...

It has been awhile. The New York life has a tendency to swallow you in. Also, juggling work, graduate school, and the ever-so pressing subject of "Finding Myself..." has proven a heavy task schedule...

This blog is a symbol of my growth as a woman, as a writer, and as a Daughter of the King trying to find her place... I will one day look back on these writings and be reminded of events, people, memories, and growing periods that have shaped and molded me into that person I will one day be. So today, I write on a subject that is beautiful, romantic, and one of the most pressing subjects in a woman's heart. I cannot wait to lead women through writing, through speaking, through encouraging, and through daily uplifting. I believe this is my calling, but I also have realized through my growing that God has my life in His hands and my timeline is on HIS schedule and not my own. So this time in New York is about the Lord growing inside of me and being selfish with each other to grow, change, sanctify, and transform. I know this may sound crazy to some, but most will understand the process of a person's life there is always a processing and growing period, this is mine.

I have no doubt that God is the Lover of my Soul and that He woos me day in and day out to see Him more and to become more intimate with Him. In the ways I trust in Him, talk to Him, have faith in Him, and believe in Him. I believe that God has been writing my love story for a long time, well for always. He knew before I was born the man I would marry and the life I would lead. He gave me my life to be proof that through waiting comes a story...

This weekend I realized that though the waiting is hard, one day it will all be worth the wait. I have said that to myself and others countless times, but for the first time this weekend, I truly believed it...I was given this singer's name (Lindsay McCaul) from one of my best friends and as I was listening to her song's today came across this one "Ending." It is my heart and honestly the perfect lyrics to describe my hearts condition. I will wait for my future husband through the tears and the hurts, I will wait.

Some may find it a little to personal to share this online, and honestly my old self would have said that too! My life is meant to be shown. I have struggled through things in life that one day will be published in a book for all to read. Why do I do this you ask? Well, if you are struggling with something and you read that I once/did/ or am struggling with something it binds community, the Church, and the strength of the Kingdom into one. This is what this world needs, more honesty and less surface. I am here to share my story, through the hurts, tears, and mistakes, to try and let the Lord be the Author of my story everyday so that when that glorious day comes when I will see Him face to face; I will know I did all I could to be Matthew 28.

So today, I make a public annoucement that my future Husband will be the only many who knows me in every way possible. I make a commitment to him, to God, and to myself to be utterly devoted to the day when the story God has been writing comes to view in an amazing and beautiful way, exactly the way God wants it! I know that it may hurt to be alone but I also know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be...waiting on the one God has for me, not just for me, but for him!

So I pray that if you read this that you know and understand that if your single that God is the first and foremost Lover of your Soul and that one day your story will come to an "Ending" like you have never thought before...

Continue growing, pursueing, and being blessed in ALL God has for you!



My New Canvas

Hey Guys!

Well it has been quite a couple of weeks, earthquakes and hurricanes and work, its been pretty busy! I hope you all are doing great and starting out September on the right foot! I just wanted to share an encouraging word with you!

I believe God has called me to New York to start a new chapter. What this looks like to me is a new canvas being put up on a stand and our Artist ready to take His paintbrush and paint the next steps of my life. I believe we have been called to hand over our lives to the Author and Perfector of our faith and I believe for each of us there are seasons/chapters that we are given to pin point our lives and spiritual journeys.

I was given the vision of me sitting down with a little girl and giving her four paint buckets and handing her a big white canvas. As I laid the canvas down she began to do what little girl's and boy's do best, throw the paint all over the white paper where when finished (parents call a beautiful piece of artwork) all I saw what big splotches and a mess for me to clean up. The the Lord so graciously says, would you like me to try? As I do the same with the Lord, I hand Him the paint and same white canvas and when He is done, my eyes have never seen such a beautiful piece. In my last canvas was my friends, my family, my heart, my past, lilies, diamonds, roses, and many other wonderful images that describe the last few years of my life. I am in awe and simply say, "You are the Artist of my life, I will hand my heart, my life, and my canvas over to you."

I say this all to describe the season I am in. I have a brand new white canvas and soon there will be images that our Artist will paint on my canvas, and my prayer now is that I don't try and take the brush away; but its simple, do we want splotches and mess or do we want majestic and beauty? Yes, I know, all our life is not beautiful images, but God does work all those images together for the good of those who love Him, and since He does this, all our life is just a gallery of beautiful art.  God looks at this gallery and at the end of our lives can fully say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"

So I pray this was encouraging and enlightening; it was for me. I pray you let God be your Artist and that we all together put down our brushes and hand over our canvas to the only one who can paint the right road ahead!

I heard this song Sufficient by Adie Camp and I love the words:
"In my weakness I'm finding your strength
In my sorrow a gentle embrace
Thru the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening
When I call out your name"