The 5 "BS" Reasons We Hold On...

Hello Everybody,

I love Jesus with my whole heart, I trust that God is the Ultimate and Most Powerful Being, and I have no doubt the Holy Spirit is indwelling in my every move. I tell you all of this so that you will know that all these "reasons" I give come from a heart that has 1) experienced it in my own life, 2) seen it in very close friends lives or 3) fear for what 1 and 2 are leading to become.

"Holding On..." is only BS when its for the wrong reason. These are the wrong reasons to hold on, but there are many ways you can be the "exception" to many of these listed. Please just take these to heart as I pray it makes you think twice next time you are in the midst of these decisions in your life.

*As a disclaimer if you are engaged or married or in a serious friendship that is a devoted God-fearing relationship, please take these light to heart and situation by situation. 

"Hold On..." (according to dictionary.com)

1.to have or keep in the hand; keep fast; grasp: 

2.to set aside; reserve or retain: 

3.to bear, sustain, or support, as with the hands or arms, orby any other means. 

4.to keep in a specified state, relation, etc

5.to detain: 

May you see me across from you in Starbucks talking you through each of these...I'm just trying to show you that your worth is far more than any BS reason is worth.

BS Reason 1: "I'm holding onto something that's worth holding on to..."
This first one might be the least "BS" reason we hold on in life. We actually have this type of relationship in possession when we act in this manner. We can hold on to friendships when we actually have a friendship history, we can hold onto a relationship when the status is "in a relationship, engaged, and/or married." May sound obvious, but sometimes our judgement can get clouded when we think we "can't make it work," or "something better will come along that is worth grabbing."

On the BS reason side of this, if your holding on to something worth holding on to and one or more of your friends says its not right, your not seeing the whole picture, or you need to really look at what you are really holding on to; you have a BS reason to hold on. Friends can be better mirrors than anything.

BS Reason 2: "I'm holding on because I'm waiting for the storm to pass..."
Again, if you take all these reasons, you might find an "exception to the rule." If you do, that is your business, but I don't know how many friends I have walked with that look at relationships and friendship as if they have the same seasons as the weather. There are no seasons in relationships, only obstacles to overcome or let go of.

BS Reason 3: "I'm holding on because I don't want to hurt them...."
As you can see this list will continue to get more "BS" heavy. Friend, as honest as Abe, you are hurting them more if you are only holding onto the relationship for their sake. I promise you, love is the most precious gift we can give someone and all you are doing is keeping them from finding someone who actually wants to give that gift to them. Don't let this stop you from finding the gift yourself.


BS Reason 4: "I'm holding on because I've never been more comfortable with anyone else..."
I have to say this is my most used BS reason. I've lived most of life with an idolatry of comfort and control. AKA crazy. I try so hard to make my life comfortable that I hold on to the people and "control" them enough to make them comfortable enough for my world. It's a crazy tragedy that has taken the life of many friendships and relationships over the years. I realized all of this while living in NYC and realizing how many "fish" really are in the sea. Living in a city of 6 million tested my ability to use this BS reason as an excuse to hold on to the friendships that had once collapsed me from moving on.


BS BS BS Reason 5: "I'm holding on because this is my only chance...I'll never find anyone like him/her..."
If you notice, this one gets three BSes...for a good darn reason. My friend, you are son/daughter of the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and Great I Am. He has made you in HIS Image and designed a life that is all yours for the taking. He has given you friendships that will come and go and relationships that teach you to be better, love more, and sacrifice fully. This BS reason isn't just BS its lie from the pit of hell. You are meant to be loved, pursued, and adored. Cliche words with a huge meaning. I have found many people, girls in particular, that think that one guy is who they are meant to be with (my hand raised with you sister). I promise you, don't hold on; just let it go.

I conclude all of this to say the reason I write this is that, as I mentioned above, all these reasons will only delay you from reaching a future friendship and/or relationship that could be the best thing you have ever seen. Don't let a BS reason of Holding On collapse you from Moving On...I've done it and I promise, its not the easiest wound to heal.

"Learning from others mistakes is the essence of wisdom." -Beth Moore 

I tell you all of this in hopes that you won't let a BS reason keep you from accomplishing God's ultimate timing in your life. Healing takes time, but holding on only stops it all in the middle of the journey.

Ever been on a road trip and got a flat tire? Well holding onto something for the wrong reason is like slowly taking off each tire yourself in the middle of the highway only delaying your own journey.

I pray you learn from my mistakes and have friends that will truly help you call BS....

All in love and hope,

Jess <3