Love Won't Quit on You...

Today something changed in me. I realized a very important aspect of my heart; I doubt the Lord's love for me. I don't doubt the Lord's love for you, for the broken, for the hurt, for EVERYBODY else; but I doubt His love for me. 


I heard this song a couple weeks back and was immediately drawn to it. Why? Well, the title gives it away. "Love Won't Quit on Us..." by Mikeschair  

"Don't quit on Love 'cause you're broken 

Don't quit on hope 

You're not hopeless 

You know the sun will rise again 

This is not the end

I know this complicated world gets you down, but don't give up 

Don't give up 

Don't quit on Love 

'Cause love 

Won't quit on us 

Love 

Won't quit on us "

How many times did I feel so hopeless because I was depending on the love of the world instead of the love of the Lord. 

I wanted to share this with you because I have a feeling many of you feel this way today or have felt this way. I want you to know that God LOVES YOU. And yes, He loves me dearly. 

Today the Lord told me this:

"You have the access key in the palm of your hand, it’s the surrendering of your hands that I will move your feet."

May we all surrender our hands to His almighty Love and Grace and then and only then will He give us the ability to move our feet where we are being called to walk. 


Whatever you are struggling with, know love won't quit on you, so don't quit on it. 

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16:11 

God will direct your path, but first you must be in His presence! 


You can start right now, He's with you...

Blessings 

The 5 "BS" Reasons We Hold On...

Hello Everybody,

I love Jesus with my whole heart, I trust that God is the Ultimate and Most Powerful Being, and I have no doubt the Holy Spirit is indwelling in my every move. I tell you all of this so that you will know that all these "reasons" I give come from a heart that has 1) experienced it in my own life, 2) seen it in very close friends lives or 3) fear for what 1 and 2 are leading to become.

"Holding On..." is only BS when its for the wrong reason. These are the wrong reasons to hold on, but there are many ways you can be the "exception" to many of these listed. Please just take these to heart as I pray it makes you think twice next time you are in the midst of these decisions in your life.

*As a disclaimer if you are engaged or married or in a serious friendship that is a devoted God-fearing relationship, please take these light to heart and situation by situation. 

"Hold On..." (according to dictionary.com)

1.to have or keep in the hand; keep fast; grasp: 

2.to set aside; reserve or retain: 

3.to bear, sustain, or support, as with the hands or arms, orby any other means. 

4.to keep in a specified state, relation, etc

5.to detain: 

May you see me across from you in Starbucks talking you through each of these...I'm just trying to show you that your worth is far more than any BS reason is worth.

BS Reason 1: "I'm holding onto something that's worth holding on to..."
This first one might be the least "BS" reason we hold on in life. We actually have this type of relationship in possession when we act in this manner. We can hold on to friendships when we actually have a friendship history, we can hold onto a relationship when the status is "in a relationship, engaged, and/or married." May sound obvious, but sometimes our judgement can get clouded when we think we "can't make it work," or "something better will come along that is worth grabbing."

On the BS reason side of this, if your holding on to something worth holding on to and one or more of your friends says its not right, your not seeing the whole picture, or you need to really look at what you are really holding on to; you have a BS reason to hold on. Friends can be better mirrors than anything.

BS Reason 2: "I'm holding on because I'm waiting for the storm to pass..."
Again, if you take all these reasons, you might find an "exception to the rule." If you do, that is your business, but I don't know how many friends I have walked with that look at relationships and friendship as if they have the same seasons as the weather. There are no seasons in relationships, only obstacles to overcome or let go of.

BS Reason 3: "I'm holding on because I don't want to hurt them...."
As you can see this list will continue to get more "BS" heavy. Friend, as honest as Abe, you are hurting them more if you are only holding onto the relationship for their sake. I promise you, love is the most precious gift we can give someone and all you are doing is keeping them from finding someone who actually wants to give that gift to them. Don't let this stop you from finding the gift yourself.


BS Reason 4: "I'm holding on because I've never been more comfortable with anyone else..."
I have to say this is my most used BS reason. I've lived most of life with an idolatry of comfort and control. AKA crazy. I try so hard to make my life comfortable that I hold on to the people and "control" them enough to make them comfortable enough for my world. It's a crazy tragedy that has taken the life of many friendships and relationships over the years. I realized all of this while living in NYC and realizing how many "fish" really are in the sea. Living in a city of 6 million tested my ability to use this BS reason as an excuse to hold on to the friendships that had once collapsed me from moving on.


BS BS BS Reason 5: "I'm holding on because this is my only chance...I'll never find anyone like him/her..."
If you notice, this one gets three BSes...for a good darn reason. My friend, you are son/daughter of the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and Great I Am. He has made you in HIS Image and designed a life that is all yours for the taking. He has given you friendships that will come and go and relationships that teach you to be better, love more, and sacrifice fully. This BS reason isn't just BS its lie from the pit of hell. You are meant to be loved, pursued, and adored. Cliche words with a huge meaning. I have found many people, girls in particular, that think that one guy is who they are meant to be with (my hand raised with you sister). I promise you, don't hold on; just let it go.

I conclude all of this to say the reason I write this is that, as I mentioned above, all these reasons will only delay you from reaching a future friendship and/or relationship that could be the best thing you have ever seen. Don't let a BS reason of Holding On collapse you from Moving On...I've done it and I promise, its not the easiest wound to heal.

"Learning from others mistakes is the essence of wisdom." -Beth Moore 

I tell you all of this in hopes that you won't let a BS reason keep you from accomplishing God's ultimate timing in your life. Healing takes time, but holding on only stops it all in the middle of the journey.

Ever been on a road trip and got a flat tire? Well holding onto something for the wrong reason is like slowly taking off each tire yourself in the middle of the highway only delaying your own journey.

I pray you learn from my mistakes and have friends that will truly help you call BS....

All in love and hope,

Jess <3

What's So "Magical" about Mike?

Hello Friends,
I write this blog post today, not to be condemning of those who watched the movie, nor to tear down the the people posting status updates, or even to remark about the vulgarity of the movie itself. I write this post today for the simplicity of describing what this movie has brought out in our generation.

The story of a 30 year old stripper who lives his life in hope of doing what he truly loves. He is turned away time and time again at the bank, for his credit wouldn't allow him to accomplish the dream he holds so dear. So he works time and time again, month after month, as a man who gorges on the attention of women, for what though? Is it only the money? Is it only the immediate satisfaction of being wanted? Is it only for the hope of maybe one day finding someone who will love him for him?

I tell you what is so "magical" about Mike is not the fact that his dancing could take your breath away or his abs look like they have been created by a computer...its the fact that this Mike is like each one of us. 


"Mike" might be a character in a movie that came out in the Summer of 2012, but the definition of this Mike was depicted a long time ago. How about David? The man after God's own heart, yeah do you remember him? Yes, he slept with one of his soldiers wives and then had that soldier killed?

"Mike" right? 

Or what about Paul, killing those who believed in Jesus?


"Mike" right? 

Or what about the prostitute who turned into the spy who hid those traveling through?

"Mike" right? 

I tell you this right now, each one of us has a "Mike" inside of us, but each one of us has the capability to have "Jesus" to overcome that Mike. Each day is a battle to discover who we are, what we long for, who we long to impress, and what we long to do to make us "happy."


Covering my news feed for the past two weeks has been condemnation for this movie and the book Fifty Shades of Grey. I can't tell you that I agree that each of them is right, but I can tell you that no one on my news feed, including myself, has not fallen victim to the "sins" of those two topics. 

I ask you to ask yourself why you find "Mike" so appealing? I had to ask myself the same question, and as I sat there and watched this story of Mike, I realized why...He was just like me.

A man trying his best to make it with what life had offered him. So many people looking down on him for his career, so he spent his life tarrying away at many jobs to try and find the one job that made him supremely happy. There is a part in the movie where the girl asks him if he could wake up and do anything in this world, what would it be? He says "I would wake up on the beach and every morning make something new..." In this quote he is talking about custom furniture, but I dare to ask you to contemplate the similarity with this scripture:

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24

I do understand that stretching a quote from a rated "R" movie to the Holy Bible is very wide scope, but what did Jesus do? He went to the rated "R" territories of each city to share His love, His joy, and His forgiveness. 

I ask that we do the same as Jesus.

I do not recommend reading the book and in no way do I recommend seeing the movie. All I do recommend is that instead of using this as a tool to rant legalism, may we use as a tool to be reminded why we as Christians are here. I saw the movie, and yes, the whole time I knew I shouldn't be watching this...but you know what stopped me? The love of Christ...I knew that I would write this blog and I knew I wanted to be sitting on the other side of that big screen so that you could sit on the other side of this screen and hopefully,  His love would come to you.

God forgives you, Jesus saves you, and the Holy Spirit empowers you. May you remember that the "Mike" inside of you doesn't win, that that "Mike" will fail, but the Jesus inside of you never will. He will strengthen you to face that challenge you have today, to embark on that new journey you are being called to, and help you overcome that heartache that feels so defeating.


So there might be a "Magical Mike" that covers my news feed and the big screens of many movie theaters and soon the eyes of many women, but I tell you there is a man that covered a tree and that was buried in a tomb and rose again and that will soon come again that is far more "Magical" than anything Hollywood could dream possible. 


As I said before, I watched the movie so I don't sit here condemning, but I do sit here convicted to tell you this, that Jesus loves all, including "Magic Mike."

Though We Cry, She Sings Hallelujah!

On Sunday, June 24th at 3:50PM my Aunt Mo walked through the gates of heaven and is now dancing on the streets of heaven, playing for the heavenly choir, and most of all talking with our Savior. She fought the battle of Leukemia for over a year. She now is in no more pain, no more suffering, and sheds no more tears. 

Though we cry, she sings Hallelujah! 

I dedicate this post to her, to her life, to her love, and to her memory that will forever be apart of my life. My future family and friends will never get to meet her this side of heaven, but they will hear all about the amazing gifts she gave, her beautiful piano playing, and finally, how she never left a moment un-lived. 

There's a lesson for us here, a lesson of life, love, and the pursuit to realize this is our temporary home. As we were sitting in the hospital in her final days, nurse after nurse poured in the room. Each one touched by her and my uncle's love, joy, faith, and everlasting hope. No matter what, my Aunt Mo made her mark here on earth, and in the hearts of so many. She always knew this was her temporary home, but she always lived with an eternal mindset. 

My Aunt Mo's favorite thing was playing the piano, something she didn't get to do much in her last days. She wanted the memory of her playing to be when she could do it without shaking hands and weak breaths. I wonder what she's doing right now?

I believe she will be playing my wedding march, a wonderful melody to the beautiful births of my children, and the amazing tune to the joyous reunion with her husband. I can't tell you what these beautiful melodies will sound like, but I promise you, they will be heavenly. 

So I ask you today to thank God for the breath you breathe, the love you share between your family, friends, co-workers, and the people you have yet to meet. Thank God for the ability to do that which you love, whether reading, writing, singing, dancing, or stroking each key of a piano. 

My Aunt Mo will never be far from my heart. She lives eternally in the hearts of my family, her friends, and the people I may never know. I know that one day I will see her again, and that my friends and family, will be one wonderful day. 

This is to you Aunt Mo, I will miss you always. 

I'm Right Here in Your Heart

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled
with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today, While thinking of the many
things we didn't get to say, I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you. And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand. That an angel came and called my
name and took me by the hand, and said my place was ready
In Heaven far above, and that I'd have to leave behind, All those
things I dearly love.



But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye,
For all of life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you, and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, that that could never be,
For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me.



And when I thought of Worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From his great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today your life on Earth is past, But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last, and since each day's the same day,
There's no longing for the past. But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true, Though there were times you did some
things, you know you shouldn't do.



But you have been forgiven, And now at last you're free,
So won't you take my hand And share My life with Me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me,

I'm right here in your Heart

-Unknown

Impossible to I'm Possible

I want to thank you all first and foremost for reading this blog. I pray that just that will open the door of your heart and grant access for encouragement to enter into your heart. 

I read this blog today, (which is a great morning devotional if you happen to be looking for one http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/encouragement/), that is clearly speaking to the impossible trials that we face in our lives. I don't know about you, but some days are much tougher than we let on. Some days there is a voice inside our head that tells us we "can't" we "won't" or we "never will be able to." I want to DEMOLISH all of those ideas out of your head and speak truth into your heart that penetrates the lies that Satan is tearing you down with.(Proverbs 2:1-5)

"God is the great I AM. Therefore He is my possibility for hope and healing. I'm-Possible is a much more comforting way to look at anything that feels quite impossible." -Lysa TerKeurst

We live in a broken and fallen world, where we fall short everyday of God's goodness and grace and where unfortunately, we fall victim to other's shortcomings. (Romans 3:23) No sin is greater than any other, but it doesn't mean some sins hurt less or more than others. I want to encourage you today to fight the lies with the truth. Truth will set you free, (John 8:32). I sit here writing this letter with simple tears falling down my face with this truth wrestling with my flesh. My flesh is bitter, hurt, and confused at certain situations in my life, and my heart is fighting the lies. 

I know the truth, I just don't always believe it, claim it, or proclaim it. 

I pray that today you would look at that "impossible" situation and see it as, with God, I'm-Possible becomes your weapon of truth. 

For those of you who are struggling with strongholds, addictions, hurts, wounds, financial burdens, relationship anxieties, unknown paths ahead of you, and even just believing in the truth that today, June 14, 2012, you have a purpose, I pray that this blog post isn't just words on a screen, it becomes an anthem for your heart. 

I pray you are encouraged, uplifted, and filled with the Holy Spirit who has power to release you from the lies and give you a peace that transcends all your understanding. 

Read through the scriptures mentioned in this e-mail, read the blog, and most importantly, listen for God's sweet voice telling you...

"I Love You..."

"You are worthy..."

"You are Mine..."

"I am with you..."

"You have a purpose..."

"I am your strength..."

"I am..."

"I will always be with you..."

"I am here..."

"Come unto me all those who are weary...and I will give you rest."

"I forgive you..."

"I am using you..."

"Come, and listen..."

May you hear His voice, listen to the truth and battle against the lie. 

I pray you share this blog, not for my sake, but for the sake of the names that popped into your heads that are struggling with an "impossible" situation. 

All my love and prayers,

Jess

*I sent this e-mail to the FYC (Finding Your Crown) e-mail list and felt the need to share it with all of you. May you be blessed, encouraged, and uplifted.

Last 30 Days of NYC-I'll Be Seeing You NYC...

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.” -Dr. Seuss

I never thought my life would lead me to New York City. You never think your life will go where it goes. We try our best to schedule days, weeks, months of our lives, but it never looks like we plan. I dreamed of so many things when I was younger, so many of those things could accompany a slideshow with thank God for unanswered prayers; A few though, have come true, and many are yet to be written. 

My time in New York has grown me in ways that I didn't even know I needed to grow in (pride I know). I've become a woman who fears the Lord with all that she is because she knows that nothing in this world matters. I've become a woman who is starting to feel the wonder, awe, and beauty of God's unfailing love for me and His children. I've become a woman who knows that although I will continue to work hard to achieve great things, none of that matters if it's not the great things the Lord wants to accomplish through me. I've learned when to be quiet and listen, I've learned what praying without ceasing means, and I've learned what letting go and holding on truly means. I've lost it all and gained even more. I wouldn't compare my life to Job, David, or Paul by any means, but I would say I fully understand their heart cries for the Lord in times of awe, suffering, pain, sorrow, and supernatural miracles.

I've become a woman who knows what community looks like. I've mentioned people here and there on this blog who have made an impact on my life, but for me to talk about each one of them would take several posts. My community group has been my family. They have loved me, encouraged me, and surrounded me with prayer unceasingly since I moved here. I can't tell you how much I've learned from them, because from each one of them I've taken part of them and I pray I am with all of them. I've become a woman who understands the meaning of friendship. 

I'm going to take this last posts to write about all my favorite things in New York City. I have been asked this question a million times, and never fully had an answer, but I realized its not one place, its it all together. New York City is nothing what it seems. It's more than the streets, the buildings, the shopping, or even the millions of people. New York City is a city of hope. 

• Central Park-Whether I knew it or not, this place made me appreciate nature, family, love, and outside fun :)
• Apostles Church
• 35th and 7th Starbucks
• 34th Street Subway
• Macaroon
• Cappizzi's Pizza
• Union Square
• Viva La Crepe
• Barnes & Noble
• NYC Skyline
• Hudson River Sunsets
• Rooftop Bars
• SoHo Shopping
• Walking & Running in the parks & streets
• 24 Hour Diners
• Delivery Food
• Cheap Sushi
• Gourmet Food

I pray that one day I look back on this time and am still able to tell my family all the wonderful things I learned, the people I met, and the places I went. I am in awe of our God who loves me so much that he flew me 2000 miles away from my comfort zone to refine me into the diamond He is making me into. I look forward to this next chapter of my life and I say goodbye to the last. Don't worry NYC, I'll be seeing you...

Last 30 Days of NYC- Day 3

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

(Holly's Birthday!) 

• I have to start this blog with acknowledging that today is my best friends birthday! I love her so much and I am blessed to have a friend like her! Everyone deserves to have someone like her in your lives! Happy Birthday Hollis Hunter, I can't wait to watch what God has in store for you this year! <3 

• Today was a day of rain, rain, and more rain. Also, with a sprained ankle and walking in NYC, it's not the easiest! I have enough office "moms" to where the middle of the day turned into a field trip through the rain to Duane Reade. This the normal place to shop in NYC! Anywho grabbed these disposable ice packs where I sat like this most of the day! 

• For dinner, I headed to meet a dear friend at the Tick Tock Diner. This diner is special, because its the very first place I ate when I moved to NYC! This dear lady, Julia, is a sweet girl who is so smart and intelligent you can't leave a conversation without her imparting knowledge into you. I am grateful to have met her a year or so ago and for our friendship to grow and blossom! 

•  Empire State Building on my walk back to the subway. This used to be my walk everyday to work when I lived at 34th and 10th. One day, I will bring my family back here and take pictures in front of this and it will be a wonderful memory to tell my family the stories of love, loss, pain, joy, and change God brought me through during my time here!